Justin Mentee Session 1 - Style and Content

In this mentoring session we began to research and plan. I looked at the content and style of the play. I did this so that I could present the monologue the right way and understand why my character might experiences this emotion and the reason for her, what appears to be her anger and hatred.
The style of the play is In-Yer-Face theatre which is acting that challenges its audience in a clear and direct fashion, displaying extreme emotions and topical issues which can be displayed in a comic, serious or aggressive form. In-Yer-Face theatre also exposes moral wrongs which invades the audiences personal space and can often aim to make audiences feel uncomfortable but at the same time also highlights awareness to the issues being presented.

The content of my monologue is a very serious and often unspoken about topic. Sexual Abuse. Although throughout the play it is never directly acknowledged as sexual molesting, it is implied. To embody Dawta I must think about how some parts of my research related to her and then embed that into my monologue.

• The amount of any kind of other trauma you may have experienced : Alot.
• Your age when you experienced abuse :  A child. 
• Your relationship with the person/s who abused you : My father
• How long the abuse lasted : Until Late Teens.
• How people in your life have responded to your disclosures (whether you’ve been believed): My mother did not believe me. In fact she chose me.

Some of the most common effects you experience may be as follows:

• Helplessness/powerlessness. You may have felt as a child that you had no control over your own life or even over your own body. You may have felt that you had no choices available to you. - My mother chose me. The choice was made for me.
• Responsibility. Your abuser most likely made you feel responsible for keeping the abuse a secret. You may even have felt like it was your responsibility to keep the family together and the burden of this responsibility interferes with experiencing a normal childhood. - We live in a religious household, my mother doesn’t say anything and I want to protect my younger siblings.
• Isolation. Abuse survivors often feel ‘different’ from other children. They usually have to keep secrets and manage a lot of stress alone. This may have isolated you from non-offending parents and brothers and sisters. -  I thought that I was the only one being abused, I didn’t realise my father was abusing my brother aswell.
• Betrayal. Children who are abused feel betrayed because they are dependent upon adults for nurturing and protection and the abuser was probably someone who you should have been able to love and trust. You may also feel betrayed by a non-abusing parent who you feel failed to protect you. - My mother failed to protect me. 
• Anger. Not surprisingly this is one of the strongest feelings which you may feel about your abuse. You may feel anger against the abuser and also against others who you feel failed to protect you. - I am extremely angry at my mum and what makes me more angry is that all I want from my mum is an apology and to understand how she could let this happen.
• Flashbacks. These can be like nightmares which happen while you are awake. They are a re-experiencing of the sexual abuse and you may experience all the feelings again which you felt at the time of the abuse. This can feel terrifying.